PRIME MINISTER IN WAITING. MODI’S WIFE – THE SECRET IS OUT ARRANGED MARRIAGE IN A LOVE-STRUCK WORLD

At last the horrible secret is out. Courtesy an Indian Express scoop, we know that Modi has a wife, whom he hasn’t seen or talked with in the last 42 years  Godhra, “snoopgate” and Jashodaben are now three issues that Modi needs to publicly talk about. .“Snoopgate” and now the case of Jashodaben are both broadly similar in that both relate to Modi’s personal life. Is Modi a Brahamchari? Was he personally involved in snoopgate? Why did he abandon his wife? Does he still consider himself married to her? Is he keen to have her live in Racecourse Road in a grand, happy conciliation of earlier personal inconsistencies? This is rich material for Modi to reach out in a reality show, not just to the electorate, but also to the World and allow it to understand him better.Everyone of us that has made resolutions either forget them, rarely make them materialise and remember them at the end of the year when it’s time to make new ones. Most people focus on what they want to achieve for themselves, which is not wrong, but is anything worth putting such humungous effort into if it doesn’t translate into a source of great and constant happiness?  When I look around I see the fundamental problem in lives, relationships, work and daily interactions with others is the lack of “niceness”.  We command people, unburden on people, nag people, make idle conversation with people and then of course there are happy times with people too. But a majority of the time I see people with grim or expressionless faces, even sitting across the table eating dinner together at restaurants. Initiate positive conversation, be complementary, help a random stranger and at least once a day resolve to put a smile on someone’s face. It’s a ripple effect and is said, “Smile and the world smiles back at you”. It’s true, what goes around comes around. Everyone thinks they are nice, but being a nice person has no value if you’re not spreading it. And remember, it’s not what you say, but how you say it that matters. Let’s resolve to be “nice” people this year. Not just to ourselves and our loved ones or people we need something from. Let’s be nice to everyone. Let’s just be “genuinely nice” people! Fullstop. Why do women feel cheated when men withhold romance after marriage? Women complain that men pack up the romance as soon as a woman commits. They no longer feel the need to ladle it out as they did during courtship. And the woman is left feeling cheated and deprived, looking for that elusive element that her man wooed her with, but never bothered to adopt again,  last the horrible secret is out. Courtesy an Indian Express scoop, we know that Modi has a wife, whom he hasn’t seen or talked with in the last 42 years.Apparently, they never got divorced. Jashodaben is reported to have said they only saw each other occasionally for the first three years, of which they spent only three months together, since Modi travelled a lot on Shakha business. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1NUUNRZ2kE] Thereafter Modi applied himself solely to the RSS. Jashodaben, as advised by Modi, got herself educated and worked as a teacher. She never got any support from Modi, or his family, but was not ill-treated either, by him, or his family. The marriage simply died away and she returned to her brother’s home.Why does a man ditch romance the moment he secures his woman? For most men, romance is like a weapon they use during the chase, much as they would use a rifle for a hunt. Once the hunt is over and the prize secured, the rifle goes up on the wall and romance into the man’s pocket, till he needs to use it again.    On the other hand, a woman invariably mistakes romance to be a part of the entire package she is saying yes to and expects it to last forever. And so, when the man lays down his weapons and withholds the candles, chocolates and roses, she feels cheated and betrayed.A tragic tale of millions of middle class, urban Indian girls, whose only future and function in the 1960’s was to get married.At last the horrible secret is out. Courtesy an Indian Express scoop, we know that Modi has a wife, whom he hasn’t seen or talked with in the last 42 years.Apparently, they never got divorced. Jashodaben is reported to have said they only saw each other occasionally for the first three years, of which they spent only three months together, since Modi travelled a lot on Shakha business. Thereafter Modi applied himself solely to the RSS. Jashodaben, as advised by Modi, got herself educated and worked as a teacher. She never got any support from Modi, or his family, but was not ill-treated either, by him, or his family. The marriage simply died away and she returned to her brother’s home. What happens when after a decade of decade you end up marrying a guy who your family chooses for you, whom you had no choice but to marry?It’s surprising how many women (and men)  find ourselves in this situation. We're brought up on a diet of Bollywood, Archies and romance. We are brought up having crushes on cute boys or pretty girls, and boyfriends / girlfriends that our parents probably do not know of. We have all spent nights chatting on the phone, chat or email to that boy or girl who we have that magnetic crush on... how then do you reconcile with the idea of sudden arranged marriage? At last the horrible secret is out. Courtesy an Indian Express scoop, we know that Modi has a wife, whom he hasn’t seen or talked with in the last 42 years. Apparently, they never got divorced. Jashodaben is reported to have said they only saw each other occasionally for the first three years, of which they spent only three months together, since Modi travelled a lot on Shakha business. Thereafter Modi applied himself solely to the RSS. Jashodaben, as advised by Modi, got herself educated and worked as a teacher. She never got any support from Modi, or his family, but was not ill-treated either, by him, or his family. The marriage simply died away and she returned to her brother’s home. A tragic tale of millions of middle class, urban Indian girls, whose only future and function in the 1960’s was to get married. At last the horrible secret is out. Courtesy an Indian Express scoop, we know that Modi has a wife, whom he hasn’t seen or talked with in the last 42 years. Apparently, they never got divorced. Jashodaben is reported to have said they only saw each other occasionally for the first three years, of which they spent only three months together, since Modi travelled a lot on Shakha business. Thereafter Modi applied himself solely to the RSS. Jashodaben, as advised by Modi, got herself educated and worked as a teacher. She never got any support from Modi, or his family, but was not ill-treated either, by him, or his family. The marriage simply died away and she returned to her brother’s home. A tragic tale of millions of middle class, urban Indian girls, whose only future and function in the 1960’s was to get married. How is this likely to affect the Modi electoral juggernaut? The bulk of the electorate is unlikely to bother much. Abandoning wives to their own devices, is a national habit, which whilst not celebrated, or condoned, is accepted as a possible outcome of poverty or other compulsions. This approach is aligned to traditions which prescribe socially limited roles for wives. This is evidenced by Jashodaben’s own placid acceptance of the situation; continued admiration for Modi and his spectacular “personal” achievements and a willingness to share in his glory should he invite her to do so. The few who are horrified, view this incident as yet another piece in the puzzle which unpeels the true Modi. A socially backward looking, egotistical man, focused on self-advancement. Of course this is the correct view. National leaders are rarely expected to be sinless unless they are American Presidents. Obama is so squeaky clean that he is unreal. His only sins are lighting up a smoke and a light hearted “selfie” at Mandela’s funeral with the attractive, blonde, Danish Prime Minister and Cameron. India is today more aligned to the American way of doing things, than ever before. The Lok Sabha elections themselves are being managed like Presidential elections. This makes the personal lives of “Prime Ministerial” candidates fair play, in the run up to the elections. Godhra, “snoopgate” and Jashodaben are now three issues that Modi needs to publicly talk about. After Arnab’s scoop of Rahul’s TV interview, it is time Modi gave a similar opportunity to a Hindi TV channel. Modi’s executive capabilities are well known and not all the Planning Commission’s rebuttal statistics can convince people that Bihar is a better place to live in than Gujarat. But Godhra does need to be put to rest. Rahul’s interview confirmed the widely held view that the Congress was complicit in the 1984 riots and subsequently loathe to pursue the criminals. It is not enough for Modi to rely on the serial judicial confirmations exonerating him and the positive statistics on convictions by the court in Godhra versus the low conviction rate in 1984 . He needs to be open to a free-wheeling discussion about what he went through, whilst Godhra was happening. He should explain all that he tried to do personally to control the violence and subsequently to resettle the victims. BJP representatives have often shared this information but not hearing it from Modi and his not encouraging a discussion around minority security does not serve him well. “Snoopgate” and now the case of Jashodaben are both broadly similar in that both relate to Modi’s personal life. Is Modi a Brahamchari? Was he personally involved in snoopgate? Why did he abandon his wife? Does he still consider himself married to her? Is he keen to have her live in Racecourse Road in a grand, happy conciliation of earlier personal inconsistencies? This is rich material for Modi to reach out in a reality show, not just to the electorate, but also to the World and allow it to understand him better. In all this, the only real winner is Jashodaben, who comes like the role model she is; dignified; proud without being an egotist; accomplished, competent and determined. The modern World would of course disagree and call her a loser for not dragging Modi to court for abandoning her and not seeking support or even for not divorcing Modi. All these actions would have been justifiable. But Jashodaben, by refusing to beg for favors and living life on her own terms; by being self-reliant and courageous, emblemizes the best in Indian womanhood. Recently at an all-women’s poetry club meet, after dissecting, venerating and romancing the 13th century Persian poet Rumi, we all settled down to discuss one of Rumi’s recurrent themes – of the ecstasy of love and its inherent pain. Why must love be painful? The ladies debated… Said one, “Oh, love is ecstatic to begin with, and then you marry – [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSvYV4Hw0UQ] Recently at an all-women’s poetry club meet, after dissecting, venerating and romancing the 13th century Persian poet Rumi, we all settled down to discuss one of Rumi’s recurrent themes – of the ecstasy of love and its inherent pain. Why must love be painful? The ladies debated… Said one, “Oh, love is ecstatic to begin with, and then you marry – and the pain begins! [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSvYV4Hw0UQ] Gujarat cop Sanjeev Bhatt’s revelations, contained in his affidavit filed before the Supreme Court, may come as a surprise to many. But for all those who lived in Gujarat during those fateful days and were in the thick of things, the contents only provide substantiation of what they had heard then. A top police officer of the state told me a couple of days after the riots started how director general of poice K Chakravarthy was uncomfortable on being told by Narendra Modi at a meeting to allow Hindus to vent their feelings.Though perturbed, Chakravarthy, a naturally timid person, could not muster the guts to stand up to his boss. So, instead he lamented to top police officers like the person to whom I had spoken. Or at least that is what the officer told me. It was also being speculated that not only had “Hindus” been allowed to vent their feelings, they had been given “three days” to do this. Then defence minister George Fernandes who had been sent to Ahmedabad by Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee also knew of this “three days” and I personally can vouch for this. With a view to figure out what he was up to, I had called on Fernandes on Saturday, March 2, 2002, in Circuit House in Ahmedabad. Initially, I had some apprehension about how much time the minister would give me because he was on a mission and the riots were on full blast. But I was pleasantly surprised that he had all the time in the world for me. Very soon I could figure out the purpose Fernandes was so keen to engage me in conversation: he wanted to cross-check the facts of the riots that he had heard. It was a long three-hour meeting. At one point the chief secretary, G Subba Rao, and additional chief secretary Ashok Narain, along with a senior army officer, came into the room. They had been confabulating with the minister before I dropped in. Leaving them behind, Fernandes took me to his room. Now the officials wanted to know if they should wait or could leave. The minister asked them to leave and resumed his conversation with me. Fernandes spoke about a whole lot of things, how Ahmedabad had changed, how he had come to the city when there was a massive riot in 1969, how he had walked to the Governor Shriman Narayan’s house from the airport at that time, etc. With the evening advancing and the need for me to go back to the office, I excused myself. Fernandes persisted but I went out. As I climbed down the stairs, the defence minister beckoned me once again from the top of the stairs and said that I should have dinner with him. In the end, I retraced my path. While having an early dinner, Fernandes who was beating around the bush for so long suddenly let it out: “ I have heard that the rioters have been allowed three days time before any action is taken?” I shot back: “ Ya, I have also heard it.” The minister said: “Humm. I see.” We continued on the dinner silently. I must admit that there was no talk about the Modi meet about which Sanjiv Bhatt has now filed an affidavit. But very soon our meeting was broken. Harin Pathak, the minister of state for defence and the BJP MP from Ahmedabad and a hardliner himself, walked into the room with decisive steps and plonked himself on the sofa. In the manner that he walked in it seemed that Pathak was aware that we were having a long meeting and wanted to be privy to the conversation.At last the horrible secret is out. Courtesy an Indian Express scoop, we know that Modi has a wife, whom he hasn’t seen or talked with in the last 42 years  Godhra, “snoopgate”…
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