Got a hole in your soul? Ku Nan should Learn from others' mistakes, rather than make his own Realisation of what ails you is half the battle won; the rest is all about maintaining a firm control on life and balance within
"Umno will never compromise or concede defeat but in this case, the defendant wanted to settle out of court and regretted what happened," Secretary-general Datuk Seri Tengku Adnan said in a statement today.
Of course you can stick your finger into an electrical socket, get a massive shock and learn from the experience to never do so again. Or you can read about it, perhaps watch it in a movie, or even see someone do so in front of you and learn to never do so. The same goes for relationships. There are so many situations you encounter which in hindsight you wish you had done so differently. Losing your virginity too early, doing drugs, getting involved with a married person, not making a will or insuring your family, neglecting your health, neglecting your partner are just some examples of choices and experiences that should have been made without learning the hard way. It just takes common sense and the experience of others at every crossroad or fork in the road, to show you which road leads to happiness and which road courts disgrace, punishment, a pricking conscience and many moments of regret. The wisest are those that learn from the mistakes of others.
You require a seed to grow a tree. But if you don’t water it, give it sunlight and manure, it will never grow. The only plant that grows in arid or desert lands is a prickly cactus and you inevitably hurt yourself on its needles while extracting any nourishment from it. The same holds good for relationships. It’s the easiest thing in the world to start a relationship. But there is a huge difference between a ‘relationship’, a ‘flourishing relationship’ and a ‘prickly relationship’ and it all boils down to input=output. A first date, sizzling chemistry, or even an arranged meeting, are the seeds to either a huge tree that will one day give you shade and protection from harsh conditions like harsh sun and rain, give you fruit, give you adventure and excitement as you climb its branches or be just a prickly reminder of a lack of nurturing. There is a saying, ‘As you sow, so shall you reap,’ and nothing could be truer of a relationship. It’s not something that magically grows by itself, stays interesting or becomes exciting only because the seed is sown. A relationship is one of the most important things in our lives yet strangely it’s the one thing we take the most for granted over time. We stop investing in our life partner and see it as a drain to continually give to them, when in actuality you’re the one reaping the rewards of it. You wake up with, sleep with, have children with and share the largest chunk of your journey on this planet with your life partner. How stupid to not make it worth everyone’s while Sometimes you do not realise you are in the midst of a vast silence till it is pierced through with sound. Often, you may not notice noise until it ends abruptly and silence prevails. You may not notice how dark it is till a light is flicked on. Sometimes you do not know how agitated you have been, till a caressing hand calms you. The absence of some people makes you realise the significance of their presence.
And then – sometimes you don’t know there’s a gaping hole in your soul till someone or something comes along to fill it and lift you to euphoric heights. My Facebook status for the last few days has been – ‘A hole in your soul? Let’s see, how can that be mended?’ It aroused interesting responses, both off and online. “But where is the soul nowadays?” asked a friend at a cocktail party. “Are you sure you don’t mean a hole in the sole of your shoe?” asked another. Some interesting solutions to m e n d the soul g a p we r e ‘spiritual evolution’ , ‘ karm a yoga ’, ‘striving to be my best self and to be considerate and compassionate,’ ‘by giving love’ and then ‘by the will power to heal and knowing when we last felt complete.’
What indeed is a hole in the soul? It is a feeling of inadequacy, of something vital missing from life. Very often a realisation of this gap causes a great restlessness till we figure out how to mend it. And yes, different things work for different people. All holes are not the same size and dimension, and each needs a different solution to fix it. Each of us has our own compulsions, our dreams, our purpose and goals; some things that make us wildly happy. A realisation of this and walking the path towards these is the only way to start feeling peaceful, calm and purposeful.
But the first step, of course, is the realisation of the void before we set out to bridge it. The realisation may not always come in a peaceful, friendly manner. It could be a jolt of awareness, a bolt from the blue. A jolt is often what you need to shake you out of a complacent, somnambulant state. And so, sometimes if someone or something comes along to shake us up, it is important to understand that Nature, God or your own supreme consciousness wants you disturbed for some good reason. This is the hard nudge you need to remind yourself that you are procrastinating, biding your time in a happy bubble, refusing to, or forgetting to move on and complete your life’s purpose. Sometimes bad experiences help you understand your own inadequacy faster; hence the talk we hear of being grateful to and forgiving those who are bad to us and who painfully teach us a lesson or two. But what is supremely important is to be aware and alert all the time – to be in full control of and responsible for oneself.
Thinking of this, I was surfing the television when I was brought up short by the very dialogue echoing in my mind – a brilliant coincidence. A man trying to persuade his wife to help him bring down a powerful, independent girl to her knees, says, “Anyone is bound to fall when you take away his or her support. But for that, you have to first get the person accustomed to the support, before removing it.” And the only way to do so is to attack them through their emotions. It is a game with some to bring down the more assured, the confident who seem to be walking their path unaided, all by themselves. Weakness despises strength; the insecure cannot stand the secure. You may find your inner peace, but the most important thing is to be able to defend it against those who are eager to disturb it.
There are plenty of hooks out there to latch onto – you have to choose which one you will allow to engage your mind. Rather than your life being dependent on incidents, accidents and circumstances, you have to engineer these to suit you and take charge of your own life. If firmly in the saddle, sometimes you may even allow yourself to be touched by something that is obviously potentially dangerous. Controlled damage may help the creative purpose you aspire for and help add value in other spheres of your life; it may help you know and understand yourself, your strengths and weaknesses better. Any experience is fine – so long as you emerge richer and stronger from it.
We are often not consciously aware of the need to maintain balance. If we are aware and alert, nobody can harm us or try and take away power or santulan, our sense of balance from us. If you look at and understand everything as part of a pattern that has to be unravelled, life becomes beautiful and exciting. If we view everything that is placed before us as a clue to unravel and understand life, we are better able to accept whatever life doles out to us.
Umno's decision to withdraw the civil suit against Tian Chua and two others does not mean that the party has conceded defeat.
Its secretary-general, Datuk Seri Tengku Adnan Tengku Mansor (pic) said the deicision followed Tian Chua's offer to settle a defamation suit on the publication of an article on the Lahad Datu intrusion in Sabah.
PKR vice-president Tian Chua made the offer to Umno via the party's lawyer Datuk Mohd Hafarizam Harun in the presence of Umno executive-secretary Datuk Ab Rauf Yusoh.
DATUK JOHARI ABDUL GHANI DEFEND NAJIB FROM HARE-BRAIN
Secretary-general Datuk Seri Tengku Adnan Umno’s withdrawal of suit correct,correct,correct!
Given a choice, Tien Chua will commit a crime than do any good. I wish I were wrong, but simply can’t help feeling this way. In ,
Tian Chua’s fear has now crystallized into reality and thus become a current contentious issue within PKR
we was told by a friend that Tian Chua has mucho influence in Malaysian Chronicle,
Wong Choon Mei said
This is a most unpleasant situation with racial overtones. Not all who have been dropped are Chinese but most are we Chinese very concerned. Who will be next?””At the end of the day, it’s the way they make decisions at the top. It is just like the BN. PKR is the new Umno and DAP the new MCA. Anwar talks about creating a new Malaysian identity but when push comes to shove, he sells out his own members. You can’t blame me for being angry because Tien Chua and me spent the past 3 years investing a lot of time and money to build a following in their designated constituencies. But it is Anwar’s betray that really hurts,”Several of PKR’s most senior Chinese leaders had even convened a meeting a few months ago to discuss the grouses of their grassroots. Their complaints were then formally presented to Anwar but it appears he has not seen fit to take their views seriously.
Perhaps, it is time for the PKR adviser to come down to earth and realize that his greatness came not only from God but from millions of unseen Malaysians who supported him in good faith and without conditionbut No. Datuk Johari Abdul Ghani said Najib saved UMNO by winning G13 in hard fought battle and now we should give the mandate to be president of UMNO why should
you are wrong to think Najib will not last in office long, as the UMNO elite are busy now sharpening their knives for the long unheld UMNO elections, postponed repeatedly by the testicularly challenged Najib
Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng has rubbished Umno's claims that it was not behind Sunday's rally where protesters had threatened another May 13.
He said Penang Umno leaders and the state Perkasa chapter were present at the rally.
"If not why were they making speeches which can incite sentiments?" he asked at a press conference today.
Lim was asked to respond to Umno supreme council member Datuk Reezal Merican Naina Merican who said the party did not organise the rally. The Kepala Batas MP was also reported to have said he had no knowledge of individuals responsible for the May 13 banner at the demonstration.
We will not kow-tow
The rallies were held after Machang Bubuk assemblyman Lee Khai Loon was involved in a kangkung-themed flash mob last Friday where frustration was vented against Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Abdul Razak over rising living costs.
Lim said the state government will not "kow-tow" to threats of violence and said he is confident the people will also reject such threats.
Meanwhile, DAP adviser Lim Kit Siang urged Lee to apologise for his action so that extremist groups will not use the incident to incite more racial sentiments. Kit Siang said there are quarters, including himself, who see Lee's actions as "excessive, offensive and insensitive".
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