Monday, April 4, 2011

Real Killer of Physical Love Sex has become the new Nontraceptive, Psychological Impotence

Bye, Bye, 7-Year Itch: Sex has become the new Nontraceptive, Psychological Impotence is the Real Killer of Physical Love

Men believe that the perfect girlfriend is the one who has a high sex drive, enjoys a hearty meal and gets ready to go out in 10 minutes.

Apart from this, the perfect girlfriend is a career-minded woman who earns more than their partner but at the same time wants to stay at home and bring up the children.

The clue to these seemingly contradictory demands lies in the men polled, 3,000 bachelors.

Near the top of their girlfriend checklist is the requirement that she should have a "pert bottom" – which may explain why they are still single.

And while three-quarters of the men polled said their ideal woman would keep her weight in check, 89 per cent also wanted her to tuck into a big meal without worrying. These perfect ladies will have luscious long hair, be skinny and trim and confident enough to go out without make-up.

"While many women might find these standards hard to live up to, six in 10 men firmly believe their perfect girlfriend is out there somewhere. However, there are a few contradictions which might make it hard for them to get their ideal date," the Daily Express quoted Nicole Clowes, spokeswoman for UKDating , which carried out the poll, as saying.
"There aren't many women who can tuck into a mountain of food every day and stay skinny. And there is some confusion about whether men would like to date a high earner or someone who stays at home with the children."

The ability to hold an intelligent conversation isn't a big concern for men – 61 per cent prefer someone who likes a laugh and a joke.
For a stressed out nation, sex has become the new contraceptive, reports Indrani Rajkhowa Banerjee

Real estate agent Virender Rathod observed an interesting trend in his life. His sex life was up when the property prices peaked and nosedived when they came down! It didn't take the shrewd businessman much to calculate that when he was stressed, he was less frisky in bed. Funny it may be, but not every infertility story is humorous.

Stress and sex make for strange bedfellows! Although there are no exact figures, experts say infertility has gone up to almost 30 per cent in the last two decades. And stress remains the most important killer for activity between the sheets.

In a dog-eat-dog world, where work hours have expanded and leisure time shrunk, spouses hold each other's hand with cell phones stuck to their ears. Laptops and phones are must-haves on vacations. In a nuclear family, working couples who pick up their children on their way home to ready-to-eat dinners are ideal couples. Divorce rates have never been this high in history, yet there's no time to grieve or pick up the pieces.

Infertility experts and counsellors are shocked at the country's shrinking libido, thanks to stress! In a worrying trend, it's hitting as many women as men, and when they're still young. Gynaecologist Dr Meeta Shah says, "The compulsion to plan one's life down to minute details is playing havoc in urban relationships. Forget conception, both men and women are finding it difficult to even perform!"

A global survey on sexual well-being conducted by the condom manufacturer Durex shows that Indians are low on sexual satisfaction. Just 46 per cent of Indians orgasm, according to the study. And, while 55 per cent Indian males achieve orgasm, only 26 per cent Indian women can say the same.

Stress remains a constant in a country that has seen a worrying rise in male and female infertility over the years. But does stress lead to impotence? Clinically, stress can be directly responsible for erectile dysfunction. It is known to increase the production of adrenaline, while it decreases nitric oxide, which is a muscle relaxant. So, when you are stressed, nerve impulses constrict vessels and smooth muscles in the male organ, thereby reducing the blood flow that causes an erection.

According to a study by the American Psychological Association, 48 per cent of Americans report their stress levels have risen over the past five years. Surveys report that between 20 and 52 per cent of American women say their sex drive isn't what it used to be.

Says psychiatrist Dr Jitender Nagpal, "Stress is a double-edged sword. It's a key motivator, but also has a tremendous hold over our physical and psychological well-being, and therefore our sex lives."

Take this: A 2003 survey stated that Indians made love 138 times a year. The same survey put Indians at a respectable eighth place, behind a clutch of Slavic nations and the French as the nations. But, the numbers have slipped since! Today, 60 per cent Indians say that sex is fun, enjoyable, and a vital part of life. However, due to stress, only 44 per cent are fully satisfied with their sex lives.

Dr Prakash Kothari observes, "Work, family, kids, parties, networking... there's no end to hyper activities. Sexual priorities are changing for a stressed out nation. People are looking for the softer, more gentler side of sex — quality time with partners, romance and a sense of security within the bedroom."

It's surprising that with so much salacious sex happening around us, very less action is taking place in the conjugal bed! Marriage counsellor Pallavi B Gillani says, "t's true that feeling loved, respected and secure all impact strongly on our ability to achieve sexual satisfaction, but thrill is the main driver of dynamic sex."

Experts say that psychological impotence is the real killer of physical love. "Just snap out of it!" says Dr Kothari, adding, "Prevent it from ruining your sex life. Try stress management techniques — they are real and they work. Make some lifestyle changes if necessary — change your diet, exercise regularly, stop smoking and limit your alcohol intake. If your job is causing you undue stress, get a new one."
Sorry to burst your bright pink, heart-shaped bubble, but by now, you should know -- especially with the rate of divorce being what it is -- that a relationship isn't always going to be sunny, blue skies, sexy text messages, and romantic surprises. At some point, it's going to get a little more... challenging.There wa
s a time when I didn't completely understand that. You see, when my boyfriend and I hadn't been together even six months, we were hanging out with a couple who had been together about four years. They looked at us as we casually held hands, and I leaned my head on his shoulder, and they said, "Aw, look -- they're still in the honeymoon phase!"
At the time, I grimaced a little and thought, "Huh? What does that mean? I plan to be holding his hand like this and feeling 100 percent warm and fuzzy about him for years to come! Humph!"
But oh, did they have a point! While in Marilyn Monroe's day there was "The Seven Year Itch," these days, a survey of 2,000 adults in long-term relationships reveals that the warm and fuzzy begins to fall flat after three years.
Thanks to modern, stressful life, the rate at which romance declines is more rapid now, these love gurus say. Post-three years, couples begin to take each other for granted more, they fight 2.7 hours a week vs. 1.2 for those who are still in the first stages of love, and sadly, for most couples (at least in this study), it seems the bedroom becomes less and less a priority. Three-plus'ers have less than a third of the sex that newer couples have, and 55 percent admit they are so busy that they have to "schedule" time together for romance. (Schedule schmedule! As long as they're doing it, who cares, right?)
67 percent of couples say that habits of their partner that they once considered endearing or harmless become major turn-offs by the three-year mark. Those habits include snoring, stray nail clippings (ew!), and "overexposure to in-laws." Okay, fair enough on the first two; however, neither of those could have possibly been considered endearing/harmless in the first place. And the third, well, is that usually your partner's fault, or the in-laws' fault? I would lean toward the latter.
Even though the results of this survey are a bit questionable, as it was "commissioned to mark the release of new movie, 'Hall Pass,'" I can definitely attest to the validity of some of these findings.

After having been with my boyfriend for four years now, I have to say that the past year has definitely been our roughest. It's the level of comfort we have now that has changed things, for better or worse. Instead of biting my tongue like I would have in the past, I'll address what's bothering me. Sometimes that escalates into what I guess you could call a fight, but we rarely raise our voices with one another.
Living together obviously factors in, too. When you're apart, and you only see one another on the weekend, of course you're going to jump each other every chance you get. But when you spend seven days and seven nights with someone, you both work full-time and you have dirty dishes in the sink that pile up over and over and over again, then, sorry, then things just aren't as glossy-sexy. I'm not saying they can't be. They should be!
But to make it happen, my boyfriend and I have had to try harder: prioritizing time together, reminding ourselves not just to flop down in front of the couch every evening and zone out. We have to remember to communicate, connect and check-in with one another. It's not constant psychoanalysis, but it's remembering to say, "Thank you," "I love you," and "How are you?" This seems so simple, but when we're so distracted with the hustle-bustle of every day, it can quickly fade away. However, it's exactly what I think a long-term relationship -- at least ours -- needs to function.
What do you think about the three-year glitch?
Australian model Miranda Kerr has offered menten tips on how they can have romantic harmony with their partners and continue doing so.

Kerr, 27, told men's lifestyle website AskMen.comthat usually it is the little things that count, and that no matter what, they should at all times be themselves and pay attention to their partner's needs.

She also said that staying healthy, showing affection and a willingness to pamper are also attractive qualities in the eyes of the fairer sex.

"In my experience, it is the random small gestures that I find the most romantic," the SydneyMorning Herald quoted her as telling the website.

"It could be something as simple as making me a cup of tea or being given a foot massage while we are watching a movie at home after a long day at work.

If more men made an effort to do these little things for their partner throughout their everyday life they would be guaranteed to have a more romantic relationship," she added.

Kerr's 10 romance tips :

1. Treat her like a goddess
2. Pamper her
3. Be healthy
4. Get a baby sitter
5. Tell her she is beautiful and romance her
6. Don't be afraid to show her love
7. Know what you want
8. Connect with her
9. Listen to her
10. Buy the right size

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