Wednesday, March 9, 2011



Looking for the perfect gift for the miserable cad in your life? Perhaps he’d like a stuffed and mounted fake head of awoman he never had sex with. According to the sales pitch, this item is, “…for every man to boast of his conquests.”
Now, we know what you’re thinking: you’re saying to yourself, “I’d love to have a severed woman’s head on my wall, but I can’t take all the yapping.” Not to worry, the ad assures us that “…one of the nicest qualities is that they don’t talk back!”
And only $2.98? Now, that really is too good to be true.
Men maybe complicated but when it comes to their women, they often take things at face value. He plays it safe by reading the obvious, often leaving his woman flustered and frustrated.
By feigning sleep she might want him to make the first move in bed, but he conveniently chooses to toss sides and fall into deep slumber. Of course, some men do suspect there is more below the surface, but they had rather not explore that complex tangle of emotions that make up a woman’s mental landscape. Here are five girly tantrums, men prefer to overlook and women can’t stop sulking about …
When she says it is too expensive
You are out with your girlfriend and she notices this chic designer handbag displayed in a glass shelf. She stops to give it a long look and says “This is too expensive; I cannot buy it right now”. This means; why don’t you offer to buy it for me. Shilpa (28), a call-centre executive, explains this best, “One time I was out with my boyfriend for lunch. As I passed the Da Milano store, I noticed this really sexy yellow bag. It was obscenely priced, and I weakly admitted that I couldn’t afford it.” But all he could come up with was, “the bag is anyway not that great and definitely not worth the money.” “I was so disappointed.”
When you are glued to the television and she snuggles up to you
You might find her sudden interest in football very encouraging, as she walks into the living room and cosies up beside you. In such a scenario, most men begin to ramble about their favorite football club and what makes a Zidane legendary. Ask your girl, she definitely doesn’t wish to learn about your passion for the sport, but your passion for her. “Seduce me and make love to me on the couch”, is what she implies. Content manager, Rohit (32), finds this behavior of his fiancé bemusing. “She otherwise hates me for spending time before the television. But there are times when she gets so lovey-dovey and settles down to watch TV with me, and takes the greatest interest in whatever I am viewing.”
When she praises another man
This means there is something you need to pick up from that other man. It also can be read as an attempt to make you jealous. There is never a flimsy reason why she mentions about this third person. You’d better be all ears and try to decode her real purpose. “I used to often broach the topic of a certain colleague, and deliberately stress on how he offers to help his wife with cooking and gives her a hand in all household chores,” chips in Anita (37), ground staff with an airline. “But he would hardly pay much heed, and casually say, “poor guy”, without even realizing that this is precisely what I ask of him too.” Perhaps Anita’s husband of six-years thought him another mundane fellow worker.
When she calls herself fat
Think twice before responding to such a declaration. Your agreeing with her can make things worse. All she needs you to tell her is, she ain’t fat at all, and that you find her desirable the way she is. “After putting on a new dress, I would ask my boyfriend how I looked. Whether I appeared fat,” says Shruthi (24), a marketeer with a news channel. “And he would lamely agree that I needed to exercise and can be back in shape.” Remember, this is a rare occasion when she would love to be contradicted.
When she talks about her girlfriends
You are expected to be a mute listener in such a situation. Give her a patient hearing, and do not contribute or show interest in a certain friend. To get you interested in her female friends is not what she intends, and shall not take it kindly if you attempted it. Megha (21), a college-goer, gets very annoyed with her boyfriend when he displays un-called for curiosity in her girlfriends. “I lose the thread of the conversation. He digresses me into giving him unnecessary details about my friends, which I find revolting.” Agreed, she is telling you about her pals, but you are only required to nod in agreement rather than get into a discussion, or worse still, oppose her.
CoI was walking down Beijing’s Sanlitun Village when I heard a voice call out, “Meinu! (Pretty girl) Meinu!” I turned around to see a young woman exclaim, “I’ve been following you since the traffic light, meinu! Are you single?”
It was an odd question, but as a matter of fact, I was, so I answered honestly. She smiled and introduced herself quickly. She worked for a company called the Golden Bachelor Dating Agency, which finds matches for “high-caliber men.”
How high-caliber? To join this dating service you need a wealth of at least RMB 2 million (approximately USD $292,000) or a background, when I later checked the company website, that is “extremely superior, wealthy and aristocratic”. And suppose you don’t have millions in the bank? You could try being “young, talented and beautiful.”
She continued, “… all of the men with our company are very superior. Would you like to come in to our office to talk more about finding love?”
Embarrassed and still not sure whether this was a joke, I said no, but she left me her card anyway and told me to call if I changed my mind. Surname, Zhou and her official job title? Love-hunter — with two little loopy hearts around it. “Hmm, well that was strange,” I thought to myself as I pocketed her card. It’d be a good joke to tell at dinner though and I did. “There’s actually a service that helps gold-diggers reach their victims?” My friends and I ate it up. But the next day, curiosity also got the better of me. I decided I’d contact love-hunter Zhou to play along. I wanted to see what kind of hoops they’d make me jump through to date these wealthy bachelors.
When I called, Zhou was jubilant and we made arrangements to meet at their office. She hushed, “Because we have such high standards for the men on our dating site, we have to be very selective about who we bring in.” I’d first have to pass an audition and show documentation about myself–things like passports, university transcripts, even proof of hobbies like my piano certification and scuba-diving license.
Armed with all my “talents,” I went in and Zhou brought me to meet a matronly lady who introduced herself as Wang Dong, senior marital advisor. She studied me with a steely gaze and the first thing out of her mouth was, “Are you always that tan? Is that natural?” I was slightly taken aback. I’ve never made an effort to tan. Being Chinese, I’ve felt that I had a good color going on naturally so there was never any real need to. However, this being a country that prizes fair tofu-like skin, I was positively Ethiopian in her sight. Answering “natural” might have been a death sentence so I ventured, “I like being outdoors a lot.”
“Well, this is enough. Don’t go outside too much.”
For the next thirty minutes, Wang in her thick Beijing accent, grilled me on my parents’ occupation, interests, ideas about love, previous relationships, education, career objectives and the reason for my singledom. As a company that caters to such high-rolling clients, money was definitely not off the table either. She wanted to hear a breakdown of my finances.
Between her stream of questions, Wang would sometimes cock her head to the side and remark out loud how she’d change up my appearance, smiling extra wide for the harshest comments. It was a kind of scrutiny that I thought only existed in modeling. Uncomfortable and with a steadily-deflating self esteem, I worried that I had underestimated what this little experiment would involve. Wang was so severe I began to wonder if I’d even get past her. I knew I didn’t fit the Chinese beauty mold. I was too tan. As an ABC, I was also too “foreign” and did not act as the cutesy, girl-next-door type that you see promoted in advertisements everywhere in China.
But Wang suddenly got up and left the room. Zhou re-entered. It appeared I’d passed. Zhou copied my documents then sat down with me to fill out my profile and talk to me about the type of man I was seeking. At 5’10, did I want to dictate a certain height requirement? Most of the men were 35-45 so how big of an age difference was I okay with? Did I prefer old money or self-made millionaires? Many of the girls liked to make that distinction. I also had not thought this part through. For the hell of it, I said that I wouldn’t date someone who lived off their daddy’s money. I declared I liked self-made entrepreneurs only. Was I willing to date someone the age of my father, my grandpa even? Sure, tick. Tick. I checked all the boxes. Finally, she took a few snapshots of me — “Smile, smile sweeter” she cooed while she focused the lens — and my profile was complete. She’d call if any men were interested in meeting me, but there weren’t any guarantees for my prince charming.
Even though I went into the audition convinced it was a gold-digging ruse — by the way, if I had given off the least bit of a gold-digger vibe I am sure I would’ve been out the door so props to the dating company there — I came out struck most by what Golden Bachelor’s idea of what a woman should be. Zhou and even the imposing Wang Dong seemed to sincerely want to help me find marital bliss. The only thing was that their vision of happiness was also straight out of the 19th century. If I needed it, I could sign up for their “Better Wife classes” to learn to cook, dance, and groom myself better. And what do the men do while the women are perfecting their hosting skills? Well, nothing because they’re rich remember?
I was called back two weeks later by Zhou, not for a date but to compete in one of the agency’s matchmakingcontests. There I came face to face with the other girls who were in this thing for real. When I asked contestant number 42 (I was number 35) why, she replied, “I’m 26 years old already. When you’re my age, you’ll understand.” I looked around the crowded waiting room and watched as women adjusted their skirts and reapplied makeup. All of a sudden I felt very depressed.
Not that a union resulting from the agency is necessarily any worse or better off than meeting your spouse via other means. (For the record, the company claims an excellent success rate.) Sure, Golden Bachelor’s beauty pageant-esque practices make for fantastic headline fodder, but its existence shouldn’t be shocking. The sex ratio imbalance from the Chinese government’s draconian one-child policy has left many men without wives. The current male to female birth ratio stands at 114 males to every 100 females. (On average in the rest of the world, 106 boys are born per 100 girls.) Then consider China’s hyperactive economy. China currently has more billionaires than any other country besides the U.S. so some of the oversupply of single men are bound to be rich.
But as the media continue to hype up Chinese economy growth rates, glimpses of an agency like this point to asociety with cultural values that lag far behind. The time it takes to raise up a new crop of billionaires is nowhere near long enough to transform societal attitudes towards women and marriage. We’re talking about a country with a long tradition of arranged marriages after all.
The reports of a party at the prestigiousYale University where undergraduate students attending the soiree were asked to strip naked and forced to drinkalcohol have triggered an investigation by the varsity authorities and police.
The party, hosted by ‘The Pundits’, a senior prank society at Yale, is now being investigated for sexual assault and hazing of undergraduates. About 50 students attended the invitation-only annual nude bash.
Students were told to arrive at the party in costume, but midway through the night were told to strip naked. Members of the Pundits “were force-feeding people alcohol” as well as forcing several students to kiss each other. Later, 10 students had to be hospitalised for excessive drinking.
Attendees were allegedly told that they would be evaluated for Pundits membership. The party was part of the Pundits’ “tap” process in which individuals try to impress club members to win a tap on the shoulder to join the club.
Invitees said the Pundits forced alcohol on them throughout the evening and they felt they could not refuse as they sought to impress the group to receive a tap.
The Yale police department is investigating the February 19 event, examining whether it amounted to a form of hazing. Yale police chief Ronnell Higgins said the YPD is also investigating “possible sexual assault”.
Yale College dean Mary Miller said Yale “does not tolerate hazing or intimidation”. “I am deeply disturbed by reports of heavy drinking by underage students in a context that could be construed as hazing,” she said.
The pictures below are of Allyssa Yin Yi with some of her sex toys.


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